Next week is my last week in the office at Lighthouse Christian Center. I'll mostly be editting a video of the Super Sonic Samaritan Tour for three rad guys--Josh, Jeremy and Caleb--and hanging out with a few students.
Right now I'm in the process of packing up my office...surreal. It's odd making choices about what items to save or throw away. I can never tell what will be meaningful to me 5 or 10 years down the road. Probably all of it would be meaningful in one way or another. Every item has a story. But you can't live your life constantly rummaging through old boxes and stirring up old memories. It's just not practical. Nor is there space in our postage stamp apartment for me to be as sentimental as I want to be. So I'm sorting through things and mourning what can't come with me.
I just dumped half a box of my Lighthouse business cards. It felt weird. Painful even. I've loved the time that I've spent at this church. I've loved the people with whom I've been privileged to work, play and grow. I've loved working with students. Dumping those cards felt a little bit like losing an identity. Who am I without the word "pastor" in front of my name? I'm still Paul, I know that. But I'll be sorting through more than nick nacks, I think, for months to come.
What will I miss the most about the office (could this blog get any more self-indulgent?)? I will miss the relationships. I will miss inflicting spontaneous pain on Adam Roberts when I need a distraction from my work. I will miss Lori Harris' interruptions. I will miss the smell of Paul Moffet's left-overs being nuked. I will miss the happy clattering sound of our folding machine bairly drowning out whatever office hi-jinks are going on behind the thin wall that separates my office from the buzzing workroom. I will miss Pastor Art's abrupt movements, the sound of him rising quickly from his desk, bursting through his door, striding out into into the hall, and singing "You lived, You died..." in his over-the-top Bob Dylan voice. I'm gonna miss the thousand different ways that laughter creeps into our work days.
But there are exciting opportunities on the horizon...namely a story I'm working on about a real life guy named Jacob Riis. I'll tell you more about him later.
God's peace,
Paul
3 comments:
Hey Pauly, I love reading your well-written thoughts and feelings. And having worked in the church office and spent plenty of time there myself, I can totally understand :-) I look forward to this next journey.
Love,
Rachael
Remember to grieve, my brother. When life assignments change, there is loss - a good kind, but sad.
Your sentiments are heartfelt. I hope you get tons of comments here, and in person, which will serve to buoy your confidence and your identity as "Paul, follower of Christ - and a pretty good husband." Your relationships will always mean the most. Its hard to rummage through relationships from the past - so keep 'em active! Keep the life stories, toss the junk. It's been marvelous working alongside you. I will miss your playful antics and thoughtful attitude.
As often as God (and Adam ;-) brings you to mind, I'll send up a prayer.
Huge blessings to you and Rachael in your new scene of life.
-Shan [http://thoughtcraft.wordpress.com/]
I am so excited for you. You inspire me, and that inspiration gives me the courage to keep living my own dreams. You have a heart that is soaked with love, and I have no doubt that your pastoral role will follow you anywhere you go, in whatever you are doing. I am anxious to follow your updates here on the blog. I'm so glad you are going to be sharing bits and pieces of your creativity. You and Rachael are in my prayers through all of this transition, and quite often besides.
Love, April
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